Morning dew/evening's due

Morning dew unfolds the rant

Evening's due pays the rent

Periodic cycles that were meant

Headaches remaining silent

Melodies and sounds resonate
Repeated signs that I hate
Words and phrases that extrapolate

Old mnemonics uncovering my fate

Abstract Delirium

7 to 9pm contemplating proses in a staring diet Pepsi "know it all" ignorance. Eating time, quarterly, between guitar strings and lecture notes while a sudden wave of feelings flow through my undecided subconsciousness.

Happiness invading unknown territory, teasing hesitation to finally embrace the heart-shaped gift bought for unrequited love and hate bullshit. The result is a creative mess which now revolves around the glowing fluorescent tube illuminating my desk of guilt. Eyes down, waiting for tomorrow's deception while having a glimpse into the nothingness of a thousand lines, another useless educational process. My Red and fragile little thingy destined to a frostbitten soul of the drunken dawn.

A Lydian scale ring tone echoes through my mind, I must be going mad but wait...where are the resolutions? Dissolved in the taste of 5 percent alcoholic psychedelia maybe. Any colors you like it says, but that that yellowish paranoia seems to be beyond my reach.

There some traffic in the sky, smuggling tiny sparkles off that fake moon which seems to to have been made in china. The voices are still haunting the red, green and blue depriving me of that initial motivation. 9 to 10pm writing proses in a half empty but quite full 'fuck it' perseverance.
My present for the ungifted one is moving in parallel to my right brain, what is left of my brain that is. Damn little thingy causing 95 percent disillusionment and soberness to win over logic! Relying upon this chaotic disorder, I drown again into a million pages of forgotten notes.

Useless Dissonance

Throughout the past 3 years, I've been observing and experiencing useless psychological drama and I'd really like to comment about it from my point of view without trying to sound too sarcastic or you know? The 'Mr Know-it-all' bullshit Lets begin here:

A stereotyped chain of reactions to "believed" backstabbing :
-Becoming distant
-A thousand thoughts running through your mind
-Temporary denial of Logical explanations to current situation,
-Confusion reigns, unconsciously locates a single 'target' among the back stabbers group *The target is usually the closest tie among the group

-Again a thousand thoughts running through your mind with an added paranoia
-Attempts at exploring logical explanations to disrupt the confusion and anger within but again promotes personal betrayal over any possible alternatives

-Seek other peer groups/occupations
-Comparing differences between the previous and new group even at first glances and eventually find the new one better

-Creating a series of new resolutions which which you'll not be able to follow on a longterm -Temporary nostalgia suddenly hits but you are unwilling to move forward and make the first step.
-then the rest depends on circumstances

Personal Opinion:

Personally I can't blame people for acting like this, its kinda hard for them, I know, but at this age... even though sometimes mentality changes with experiences and not according to age. But its kinda annoying and.... 'creates a restless dissonance between the social web of the individual', I might add. Is the denial of reality, being distant or even rejecting any previous ties the key to problem? Just tell me how it helps on a larger scale? The rs5 Question

Taking new resolutions can trick you into believing that you've changed your mentality but its the one of the biggest self lie ever. Its funny how people think that they grow mature a short time after taking new resolutions to prevent future similar events. They'll eventually be back on the same track without even realizing the temporary transition.

Its takes a huge amount of patience as well as reaching a new plane of thoughts to achieve this shit. [Targeting numerous people here] Leaving the past behind is, in this case, 90% not possible unless you fly reallyyyyyyy far, engage in homosexual activities, becoming a Shaolin monk ..etc.. [Might not be that funny ....]

ADVICE/RANT:
If I could give you advices, I'd be god, there aint no standard advice.

But I'd really like to kick out some common sense out of those who act like this, I once received brainwashing kicks, millions of 'morales' and in the end I kinda realized that: my actions and thoughts were really stupid.
[I'm not trying to act mature here, don't misunderstand]

Triggering new resolutions according to the 'coup' received is a completely bullshited reaction(from my point of view). It is not a mature reaction, compared to popular beliefs. Even if it might bring new changes depending on the psychological strength of the individual. But when you're still young in the head like me, it is not the best thing to be done, It simply dismantle your life into new pieces which you'll have to assemble again like a puzzle with missing pieces

Avoiding the problem is not the solution, It is in fact the problem