A hazy dream

I have long desired something tangible but not of the ether, it is something that i can feel and taste and hold. The long needed and yearned for completeness of me, a filling of the void beneath my skin. Needs ungiven and lust unfufilled, a purpose a rhyme of reason. Long i have watched and listened unseen and unfelt, my presence a figment of a forgotten dream. Empty arms caress the hope while tender lips feed the flame of nothing, hazel eyes gaze into the shadows and tears fall onto an empty lap. I ask for little and try to give all, but in so giving lose what little i am. Waking from a dream i cringe in the silence longing for the black veil of sleep to cover me and keep me safe. I talk to empty rooms and listen for the faint echo that is my friend, but hear naught but the slipping minutes of the dreary clock. Then out of nowhere or somewhere not believed in comes a voice, faint but growing stronger. The yen to the lonely yang, hopeful eyes shine with doubt at the answer to a distant call from a fevered memory. Slowly the shimmer gains definition and the voice whispers to my heart, a neck once bare of any beliefs is wrapped by a shining promise. Longer then time, and further then space i have wandered searching for a phantom desire. Now the desired longing and yearning bares a name, my soul searches for deceit in the words but finds nothing but truth. So the worry and fear lose there power, and the girl of the shadows steps into the light. Shining thru the lonely hours.

A Piece of My Mind: part 1

What is the meaning of life?! 

Live people, live! Life is meant to be lived and not spend half of your time trying to be what you are not! Not talking philosophically or any of that bullshit but rather about the way people live these days. 
We all definitely, at some point in life, have to part from that innocent road and take the next exit on reality’s superhighway. 

Welcome to crossroad of “choose who you’re gonna be.” What kind of individual were you back then? Most of you probably took the exit in highschool , where you learn the mysterious powers of Jack the rabbit and Popularity, self confidence, Ass-lickingness, Talent, Cultures, Bullying, Money, Music, Girls, Love, Friendship, drama and all that crap 

Who you’re gonna be? The cool kid? The one who pretends that he doesn’t give a fuck just to give him a “doesn’t give a fuck attitude” to be cool in his own way? What about the one who lacks so much self confidence that he will pretend to like the same stuff the cool kid likes so that he can take a bite of the label? The Ass lickers? The one you will valorize others just to be recognized? 

Who you’re gonna be? The Music lovers? YAY YAY Music is my life! Yep it is coz its written on my blog and all dat shit yo!! :/ Music will never be anyone’s life unless you explore the very fundamentals of playing an instrument! So now you’re gonna be the wise ass musician! Let’s all learn the guitar YAY!!! Let’s show the world that music is really our life, until 9 months later where you’ll give birth to ‘the Night life faggism (if that’s a word)’ just because you’ve discovered that playing guitar aint that cool afterall coz you’re not getting chicks with it! But wait, you gotta change something on your blog now!! 


Who you’re gonna be? The Nightclub fag? The house , trance, techno labels? You have now heard the latest Bob Sinclare yesterday night when your cool friend invited at some random party. Yes, mom gave you permission this time! Along the way you also discover Alice’s little friend, Mr Friendship with benefits who brought a van of candies for everyone! Yay! Man listen to that beat, that’s dope!! Lets wear pink T-shirts, Lame ass cockroaches Raybans and stretch our bodies like a motherfucker on a frying pan!! 

Who you’re gonna be? A leader or a follower? The “I don’t give a fuck dude” started his own trend by ‘not giving a fuck’ , which made him cool cause the others started “giving a fuck’ about his “not giving a fuckiness’! So now you are gonna stop giving a a fuck too, but sadly ‘ Not giving a fuck ‘ is outdated, coz everyone started ‘giving a fuck’ about the ‘not giving a fuck attitude’, which made them eventually giving a total of Ten thousand fucks per day! 

So now, you’re gonna be, the ‘I give a fuck, really ‘dude! You’re gonna give a fuck about every little stupid things, and the one which lack of confidence will start worshipping you, as if you were a white Will Smith or something! This will eventually turn you into a leader! Thus, dethroning the “I don’t give a fuck’ guy! So today’s new trend is gonna be “ Let’s give fucks”! Free Fucks for everyone! YAY!
With everyone giving a damn about everything, you will eventually live according to other people’s opinion! This takes us back to the second paragraph of all this crap I just wrote!

HEY WELCOME BACK! How about a nice cup of giving a fuck? C’mon it’s the new trend now! We cannot afford to look like faggots now!! What will people say? What will my friends say about? Where will I get my free drinks from now? Whose girlfriend’s sexy friend will I get to meet each Saturday now? 

This is the new reality’s Superhighway! Let’s worry about everything, YAY! What about you? What about giving a fuck about your own personal self? Hypocritically speaking! Not adopting a “not giving a fuck attitude” for recognition or to be part of something else outside the stereotypes and all that mess! I’m talking about the old good fashioned of living up to yourself, though people’s opinions matter sometimes but what matters the most is your inner nature, your deep buried thoughts! Let it out! 

Or is that how you’re really gonna be?

Sur la route

Tu me fais chier, j’en ai marre de courir

J’avance et j’avance en arrière

Sur une route que je voudrai chérir

A contre sens de tes espérances

Vas-y rempli mon verre d’amertume

Observe la goûte qui déborde, sur le sol des remords

Entraîne moi dans ton illusion

Efface la réalité de ma confusion

Tu me fais chier, j’en ai marre de courir

J’avance et j’avance en arrière

Sur une route que je voudrai chérir

A contre sens de tes espérances

Vas-y dessine moi ton espace,

Un cercle de miroirs qui reflètent le contraire

Ecris moi, en quelques lignes, un refrain d’adieu

Et j’irai la chanter ailleurs, loin de toi

To my closest friends

Thanks to y'all and please take care or yourselves. Take some time and think about how you've fucked what we used to call "friendship". Values are not what they used to be anymore and it is not "change"'s fault because you decide what you do with your relationships, you decide who to keep close and not. Maybe not consciously but some are close by interest, and not by pure immaterial ties. Once you've got a new event or a new someone you must not forget the old links, these people were there for you, these people gave their time and expected the same from you at some point in their time of need. The time has come for you guys to realize all the useless bullshit drama you've been involved into and your mindless reactions to them. All these stuffs have created a huge gap between your old values and values are supposed to be kept, not changed because you've received some bullshited bullets or whatever. Learning from your mistakes is ok but that doesn't imply apply a new way of "fuck this fuck that i don't care anymore about anyone and will never keep people close" attitude because this is what destroy your values. Now people, most of you have turned into what you used to criticized long ago, think about it. How many people have i spent and enjoyed time before I go? only people I knew for about a year or so. Old ties don't even seem to care, the new one harasses you day and night to see them at least once before you go . I have a message for these people " I might not have known you guys for long but you've shown me how fucked up life can be sometimes , how people can change not to the worst but in a cold way, how materialism and interests overtake ties. To the folks I've known for so long ,except a few ones(they will know) I have only a simple message for ya : do not think about the "change of life, new events, new people n stuffs", think about the change of what you called friendship values.

Goodbye and I love you guys no matter what and thanks for the good old times.

Of Denial, Passion and change

I live a beautiful fairy tale
Kept memories and postponed my pain
Hidden little lies beneath a veil
Denial is the name I proclaim

The rendition of a thousand words left unsaid
The expected turned unexpected
Of this passive aggression I was afraid
Passion and compassion inverted

The story ends one day or another
Denial and I will have to part
I cannot walk the fine lines forever
A Tender Surrender before being torn apart

Humour for a change : Perfect insults

Here are my favorites:

1. Don't let your mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own.
2. I can see why You are often lost in thought - it's an unfamiliar territory.
3. I guess you prove that even god makes mistakes sometimes
4. If I said anything to you that I should be sorry for, I'm glad.
5. If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!
6. If your conscience could be surgically removed, it would be a minor operation
7. Some people are has-beens. You are a never-was.
8. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth.
9. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
10. If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless.

Des fois

Parfois quand tu y penses
tu crois que la vie na pas le moindre sens
les gens parlent et toi t'écoutes
sur l'instant tu comprends mais n’empêche tas quand même des doutes

Des fois tu te poses toi même la question
pourquoi vit on, si ce n’est que pour mourir
autant en mettre un point a la conclusion
au lieu d’attendre jusqu’a ce que la mort vienne nous chérir


Des fois le matin, quand tu sors de ton lit
tas des regrets, tu te sens lourd, voir même dépéri
celui d’avoir quitté le pays des fées
pour un monde paumé en crise de sociétés

Des fois tes un oiseau a l’intérieur d'une cage
on te libère mais tes quand même enfermé dans une maison,( la maison du sage)
celui qui t'emprisonne malgré ta liberté
et toi les yeux fermés, tu fais semblant et tu tombes dans l'illusion parfaite

Mais des fois quand tu regardes autour de toi
t'aperçois l'amour défiant les lois
l'amitié qui surgit de l'ombre vers la surface
et c’est a ce moment même que t'envisage la foi

On dit que l'espoir fait vivre les imbéciles
mais moi je dit que l'espoir nous fait vivre les moments difficile
c’est une poésie sans fin qui nous fait rêver en vain
une vision meilleure sachant que tout peut arriver demain

New Tides

I built a wall around my thoughts
A prison of words painted in reverie
Reality and I are worlds apart
Always greeting, always smiling

I drew a void from the ink of my fears
On the shores of a new beginning
I watched the water fold
But the tides never came, never came

I spoke in silence, a deafening whisper
Phrases they do not comprehend
Connections they do not understand
At least what they seem to pretend

I hid inside my castle of sand
waiting for the sea to rise
For the waves to fade traces
And carry me away to another shore